The Dead Milkmen Beelzebubba 1988 Fever Records The Dead Milkmen are: Rodney Amadeus Anonymous - vocals, vending machine Lord Maniac - bass, channeling Jasper Thread - guitar, accordion, vocals Dean Clean - drums, bv ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- @SONG: Brat in the Frat Hey! I do not like you college brat I do not like you and your frat I do not like you at the shore I do not like you drunk on Coors I do not like your average life I hope you do not take a wife I hope you don't decide to breed Cause that's one thing I do not need I do not like you radical I hate you and your fancy school You're wrong about the working class I hope they kick your Harvard ass I do not like you world of ours I'd rather live on planet Mars And die from lack of oxygen Than breathe the air of other men Hey! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- @SONG: RC's Mom I'm gonna beat my wife I'm gonna beat my wife now Gonna smack her with a lead pipe Gonna smack her with a 2x4 Run her over with a Brink's truck Chase her down with a lawn mower Gonna beat my wife Look out! Wife beatin' Mistreatin' Wife slappin' It happens Gonna beat my wife Gonna beat your wife Gonna beat his wife Gonna beat her wife Gonna beat my wife Gonna slap my wife Gonna kick my wife Good God, y'all! Gonna beat my wife Gonna beat my wife At the shelter Helter skelter Wife kickin' Finger lickin' Wife killin' It's thrillin' Oh baby please don't beat me, baby I promise I'll never sleep with the moon in my face no more! I'm gonna beat my wife Heh heh heh ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- @SONG: Stuart You know what Stuart? I like you. You're not like the other people here in the trailer park. Oh no, don't get me wrong, they're fine people, good Americans. But they're content to sit back, maybe watch a little Mork and Mindy on channel 57. Maybe kick back a cool Coors 16-ouncer. They're good fine people, Stuart. But they don't know what the queers are doing to the soil. You know that Johnny Wurster kid - the kid who delivers papers in the neighborhood? He's a fine kid. Some of the neighbors say he smokes crack, but I don't believe it. Anyway, for his 10th birthday, all he wanted was a burrow owl, just like his old man. "Dad, get me a burrow owl. I'll never ask for anything else as long as I live". So the guy breaks down and buys him a burrow owl. Anyway at 10:30 the other night I go out into my yard and there's the Wurster kid looking up in the tree. I said, "What are you looking for?" He said, "I'm looking for my burrow owl." I say, "Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick! Everybody knows that a burrow owl lives in a hole in the ground! Why the hell do you think they call it a burrow owl, anyway?!" Now Stuart, do you think a kid like that is gonna know what the queers are doing to the soil? I first became aware of this, about 10 years ago, the summer my oldest boy Bill Jr. died. You know that carnival that comes to town every year? Well this year it came with a ride called the Mixer. The man said "Keep your head and arms inside the mixer at all times." But Bill Jr., he was a daredevil, just like his old man. He was leaning out saying, "Hey everybody! Look at me, look at me!" POW! He was decapitated. They found his head over by the snowcone concession. A few days after that, I open up the mail and there's a pamphlet in there, from Pueblo, Colorado. And it's addressed to Bill Jr. And it's entitled, "Do you know what the queers are doing to our soil?" Now Stuart, if you look at the soil around any large U.S. city with a big underground homosexual population - Des Moines, Iowa, perfect example. Look at the soil around Des Moines, Stuart. You can't build on it, you can't grow anything in it. The government says it's due to poor farming. But I know what's really going on, Stuart. I know it's the queers. They're in it with the aliens. They're building landing strips for gay Martians. I swear to God. You know what Stuart, I like you. You're not like the other people, here in the trailer park. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- @SONG: I Walk the Thinnest Line I walk the thinnest line I walk the thinnest line I walk the thinnest line Between the light and dark sides of my mind I walk the thinnest line I walk the thinnest line I walk the thinnest line Between the good and bad sides of my mind And when I'm bad I sit in a tree And spit on people who walk under me When I'm good I stay at home I've got 29 kids all named Jerome I walk the thinnest line I walk the thinnest line I walk the thinnest line Between the light and dark sides of my mind I walk the thinnest line I walk the thinnest line I walk the thinnest line Between the good and bad sides of my mind And when I'm sad I go to a club Drink enough beer to fill a bathtub When I'm glad I make a wish Find a wife who has read "My Little Fish" I walk the thinnest line I walk the thinnest line I walk the thinnest line Between the light and dark sides of my mind I walk the thinnest line I walk the thinnest line I walk the thinnest line Between the good and bad sides of my mind And when I'm bored I watch TV A million things I want to see To fill my mind on either side Dear TV I want to take you for my briiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide I walk the thinnest line ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- @SONG: Sri Lanka Sex Hotel Let's have sex with strangers in the men's room We could do it and not get caught Burn down the house where the metal kids live All the Hendrix posters going up in flames Let's have sex without birth control Sell our offspring to some dirty old men Let's play Big Black at 3 AM And tell the neighbors they can all get fucked Comin' over the first hill I felt my body jerk The attendant did not strap me in I'm sure that I am gonna die This is my last roller coaster ride This is my last roller coaster ride This is my last ride Down the street there's an accident I hear that the bodies can still be seen Let's call the sheriff a cock-sucker See if he's read "The Killer Inside Me" Let's have sex with pit bulls Maybe pollute their blood line Little Timmy's in the sandbox At the daycare center run by ex-cons Comin' over the first hill I felt my body jerk The attendant did not strap me in I see the loop is up ahead This is my last roller coaster ride This is my last roller coaster ride This is my last ride Let's burn it down and knock it over Let's have sex with it or leave it alone 3-D Jesus by my bedside Talks to me when it's late at night I thought I left you in Sri Lanka Working the desk at the Sex Hotel For Christ's sake why isn't Bob Hope dead yet? Comin' over the first hill I felt my body jerk The attendant did not strap me in I feel the track below my feet This is my last roller coaster ride This is my last roller coaster ride This is my last ride ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- @SONG: Bad Party I mean the Captain and Tennille were musical innovators. I mean really... We're going to a bad party It's the worst party that's ever been We're going to a bad party And I hope those jerks will let us in Shut your mouth, get in the car Cause Ricky Casso wants to drive We're going to a bad party It's the kind where everyone's dull We're going to a bad party Gonna scare the bejesus out of them all When we get there we'll say we love Satan Ricky always thinks that's funny We're going to a bad party It's the worst party that's ever been God I really hate these jokers Think they're smart, they think they're witty Someone oughtta pass a law Or at least form a committee I'm gonna shoot the stereo If they don't start playing my kind of music We're going to a bad party And I can hardly wait We're going to a bad party I need a place to defecate Maybe we'll take the host hostage Ooh what a clever play on words We're going to a bad party It's the worst party that's ever been God I really hate this music I can't stand Gene Loves Jezebel If there is a God in heaven I'm sure that band will burn in hell I'm gonna shoot somebody If they don't stop talking about "East Enders" We're going to a bad party And who knows what damage we'll do We're going to a bad party Gonna wind up on "Phil Donahue" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- @SONG: Punk Rock Girl One Saturday I took a walk to Zipperhead I met a girl there And she almost knocked me dead Punk rock girl please look at me Punk rock girl what do you see? Let's travel round the world Just you and me punk rock girl I tapped her on the shoulder And said do you have a beau? She looked at me and smiled And said she did not know Punk rock girl give me a chance Punk rock girl let's go slamdance We'll dress like Minnie Pearl Just you and me punk rock girl We went to the Phillie Pizza Company And ordered some hot tea The waitress said "Well no We only have it iced" So we jumped up on the table And shouted "anarchy" And someone played a Beach Boys song On the jukebox It was "California Dreamin'" So we started screamin' "On such a winter's day" She took me to her parents For a Sunday meal Her father took one look at me And he began to squeal Punk rock girl it makes no sense Punk rock girl your dad is the Vice President Rich as the Duke of Earl Yeah you're for me punk rock girl We went to a shopping mall And laughed at all the shoppers And security guards trailed us To a record shop We asked for Mojo Nixon They said "He don't work here" We said "If you don't got Mojo Nixon Then your store could use some fixin'" We got into a car Away we started rollin' I said "How much you pay for this?" She said "Nothing man, it's stolen" Punk rock girl you look so wild Punk rock girl let's have a child We'll name her Minnie Pearl Just you and me Eating fudge banana swirl Just you and me We'll travel round the world Just you and me punk rock girl ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- @SONG: Bleach Boys I've got some buddies and we all drink bleach You know we practice what we preach We're not a drunken bunch of frat-boys Trashed on beers Or a stoned bunch of hippies With no careers I wanna drink bleach with a Georgia peach My pals and I all drink Clorox Or eat Snowy Bleach right out of the box Teenage suicide rate's shot high And we understand the reasons why Bleach does more than whiten socks Don't you wanna hang out with the Bleach Boys, baby? In a world where ministers murder golf pros Don't you wanna drink some bleach tonight? Maybe there'll be a party at the beach We'll bitch about life and chugalug bleach No one's getting high, and no one's getting drunk I've got a case of bleach stashed in my trunk I wanna die with Clorox within reach I'm very proud of the respect I've earned And my voice is very deep cause my throat got burned Bleach keeps you young so I've been told Cause no one who drinks it lives to get old Drink it with a chaser was the first thing that I learned Don't you wanna hang out with the Bleach Boys baby? In a world where midgets run for mayor Don't you wanna drink some bleach tonight? I had 26 friends in the beginning But now it seems our numbers are thinning Some people drive fast, others love to bet Still others snort coke in a private jet But drinking bleach is my way of winning Don't you wanna hang out with the Bleach Boys baby? In a world where welders own our schools Don't you wanna drink some bleach tonight? I'm so bored I'm drinking bleach I'm so bored I'm drinking bleach I'm so bored I'm drinking bleach I'm so bored I'm drinking bleach I'm so bored I'm drinking bleach I'm so bored I'm drinking bleach I'm so bored I'm drinking bleach I'm so bored I'm drinking bleach I'm so bored I'm drinking bleach I'm so bored I'm drinking bleach I am so bored! I am so bored! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- @SONG: My Many Smells Sometimes I smell like a barrel of rotting fruit Stinking up the jungle under the hot tropical sun Other times I smell like thick black swamp-water Backed into your toilet on a warm summer day These are a few of my many smells Won't you come and smell me? Won't you share my stench? Won't you come and smell me? Won't you share my stench? Once I smelled just like the bathroom After Grandma'd used it and she's been eating prunes Other times I smell like a city garbage strike When all the horseflies grow to 3 inches long These are a few of my many smells Won't you come and smell me? Won't you share my stench? Won't you come and smell me? Won't you share my stench? Sometimes I smell just like death itself A sickening sweet smell It can really make you ill Smell me Smell me Smell me Smell me See me Hear me Touch me Smell me Smell me Smell me Smell me Smell me ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- @SONG: Smokin' Banana Peels Burrow owl burrow owl burrow owl Smokin' banana peels, see how it feels Living is easy with ice cubes The world is swimmin' with electric eels Talk seriously to me brother Smokin' banana peels, savin' the seals There are four me's living all together Got to keep an even keel You've got to take life serially Smokin' banana peels in between meals I was all pumped up about the iron Let's all pray get down and kneel Smokin' banana peels sound like this Mellow, it's so mellow Mellow, it's so mellow No! It's too mellow! ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya No! It's too mellow! ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya Mellow, it's so mellow oh oh oh-oh oh Mellow, it's so mellow No! It's too mellow! ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya No! It's so mellow! ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya Smokin' banana peels, nothin' is real Mites are living in your eyelashes People are makin' important deals They're my fingernails and I'm keeping em Smokin' banana peels, savin' the seals (???) Up and down between your heels Dip your breasts in shimmering lip balm Talk to me about Elvis Take Elvis for walk and shut up ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- @SONG: The Guitar Song Hey Kitten, whatcha doin'? Wanna play the guitar? You say, what's that sound Coming out of the hole in the wood? You say, what's that sound Coming out of the hole in the wood? You say, what's that sound Coming out of the hole in the wood? It's the guitar Hey baby, whatcha doin'? Playin' with your rattle and plastic car? You say, what's that sound Coming out of the hole in the wood? You say, what's that sound Coming out of the hole in the wood? You say, what's that sound Coming out of the hole in the wood? It's the guitar Hey mama, where ya goin'? I hope you're not going very far Because what's that sound Coming out of the hole in the wood? Tell me what's that sound Coming out of the hole in the wood? Hey, what's that sound Coming out of the hole in the wood? It's the guitar It's the guitar It's the guitar It's the guitar It's the guitar It's the guitar It's the guitar It's the guitar It's the guitar It's the guitar It's the guitar ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- @SONG: Born to Love Volcanos Born to love volcanos Seen em on PBS Born to love volcanos My apartment is a mess Somewhere under that pile of clothes Lies a whole $10 bill Telephones are ringing In a land called PBS Fat lady is singing In a land called PBS Maybe she loves volcanos too I'll just have to take a guess She looks like a little volcano With her red hair and brown dress Born to love volcanos Born to love volcanos Born to love volcanos Born to love volcanos Born to love volcanos Born to love volcanos Born to love volcanos Volcanos, volcanos, volcanos, volcanos Born to love volcanos Seen em on PBS Born to love volcanos This city is a mess Somewhere on a steam vent Sits a man without a home Tribute to Carl Sagan Tonight on PBS Alistair Cooke is beggin' Tonight on PBS Maybe he needs my money more Than a man without a home He wants to make a documentary On the footwear of ancient Rome Born to love volcanos Born to love volcanos Born to love volcanos Born to love volcanos Born to love volcanos Born to love volcanos Born to love volcanos Born to love volcanos Volcanos, volcanos, volcanos, volcanos Born to love volcanos Seen em on PBS Born to love volcanos This country is a mess Every 2 minutes a girl gets pregnant Cause no one gives them the facts Intellectuals are phoning To a land called PBS Some old man is droning In a land called PBS Maybe he needs my money More than a bunch of pregnant teens A toll-free number to call in my money Appears upon my screen Born to love volcanos Born to love volcanos Born to love volcanos Born to love volcanos Born to love volcanos Born to love volcanos Born to love volcanos Born to love volcanos Volcanos, volcanos, volcanos, volcanos Born to love volcanos ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- @SONG: Everybody's Got Nice Stuff but Me Everybody's got nice stuff but me Everybody's got nice stuff but me Everybody's got nice stuff but me Everybody's got nice stuff but me Look at that girl she makes me sick She's got a wad of bills 6 inches thick Got a brand new stereo a new TV Everybody's got nice stuff but me I want a stereo I want a TV Everybody's got nice stuff but me Everybody's got nice stuff but me Everybody's got nice stuff but me Everybody's got nice stuff but me People in nice cars how'd they get em? I close my eyes try to forget em Went out swimming got hit by a jet-ski Everybody's got nice stuff but me I wanna car I wanna jet-ski Everybody's got nice stuff but me Everybody's got nice stuff but me Everybody's got nice stuff but me Everybody's got nice stuff but me She's got eyes of deepest blue He's got hair that's green Everybody's got nice stuff but me I wish I had the kind of cash To make heads turn when I walk past I wish I could live in luxury Everybody's got nice stuff but me I want cash, I want money Everybody's got nice stuff but me I want a stereo I want a TV Everybody's got nice stuff but me I want a car I want a jet-ski Everybody's got nice stuff but me I want hair that's blue or green Everybody's got nice stuff but me Everybody's got nice stuff but me Everybody's got nice stuff but me Everybody's got nice stuff but me ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- @SONG: I Against Osbourne I know the CIA is watching me I'm a target of the FBI and PMRC I do not sleep I spend my nights worrying of satellites They put an eye into the sky and did not tell the people why I do not sleep I spend my nights worrying about satellites My neighbors are not the folks they appear to be They've been replaced by the agency I try to get to sleep but it's no good My coffee does not taste the way it should I know there's no way to make them stop My house is surrounded by the cops They love to plant hidden microphones I find them when I clean up around my home I am sorry, yes I am I do not talk to strangers ma'am You're part of this giant plot Please don't tell me that you're not I am sorry, yes I am I do not talk to strangers ma'am My kids must be part of the conspiracy Mr. Rogers works hand in hand with the KGB ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- @SONG: Howard Beware Howard beware 'cause we don't wanna hurt you While the sun is shining, that'd be cruel Howard beware 'cause we're gonna get you We know where your kids go to school Howard Howard beware Howard Howard beware Howard Howard beware Cause you're so easy to scare You'll hide from the shadows And everybody knows Howard beware the Russians they don't like you Might as well drop the bomb on you Howard beware the government won't protect you Like to see you turned into Howard stew Howard Howard beware Howard Howard beware Howard Howard beware Cause you're so easy to scare You'll hide from the shadows And everybody knows Howard beware the neighbors wanna kill you Might just all form an angry mob Howard beware your mother has disowned you Says that you're a pervert and a slob Howard Howard beware Howard Howard beware Howard Howard beware Cause you're so easy to scare You'll hide from the shadows And everybody knows ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- @SONG: Ringo Buys a Rifle We aren't ourselves Brains on the shelf We'll all wake up When Ringo buys a rifle We live we breathe We spread disease That all must end When Ringo buys a rifle People told him what to say Ordered Advanced Dream Away Paul was dubbing Ringo's drumming John was dubbing Ringo's humming People were starting to talk We start wars forget the poor That all must change Ringo buys a rifle We stand tall Try to evolve We'll walk on water Ringo buys a rifle Animals will bear their fangs The Pope will join a gang We'll all get new shoes When Ringo buys a rifle Buildings come crashing down Lost things will be found Life'll be so much better When Ringo buys a rifle Tried to keep his head level Was possessed by the devil George is callin' Ringo's mom Telling her Ringo's a bum Rumors are starting to fly We'll be one To love a gun That's how we'll live Ringo buys a rifle We start small Must learn to crawl We'll learn to fly Ringo buys a rifle Doesn't want to be cute He just wants to shoot Blow them away Make them all pay His mind has jumped track He's a Beatle maniac Hey Paul, you asshole... Dub this! When Ringo buys a rifle When Ringo buys a rifle People told him what to say Ordered Advanced Dream Away Paul was dubbing Ringo's drumming John was dubbing Ringo's humming People were starting to talk He is one with indoor plumbing Paul's still dubbing Ringo's drumming He's formed with the NRA (???) away Rumors are starting to fly He let (???) acid dream away ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- @SONG: Life is Shit I ran into a friend of mine Said he was gonna take some words and make them rhyme I said "You can fool some of them some of the time, But you can only fool half them all of the time" He said "Yes I do believe this is true, Would you like to come and sniff some glue? And we'll fly to where the skies are blue And look for things both bright and new" And on a pretty Sunday morning A bunch of pretty Baptist girls Linked their pretty hands and they sang Life is shit, life is shit The world is shit, the world is shit This is life as I know it This is life as I know it And in the sky I saw Richard Nixon Smoking a lacey with Mr. Dickson He said "Son there's something I must say, I do believe I've found a better way" And a vision came And I new it was Bob Crane And Bob sang: Life is shit, life is shit The world is shit, the world is shit This is life as I know it This is life as I know it And when my friend and I were done We went to rest upon the sun Cause life takes from us the things we love And it robs us of the special ones And it puts them high where we can't climb And we only miss them all the time And we sing: Life is shit, life is shit The world is shit, the world is shit This is life as I know it This is life as I know it This is life as I know it This is life as I know it This is life as I know it ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- @SONG: Bonus-surprise-endy-bit Hit me! Gonna beat my wife!