The Dead Milkmen Stoney's Extra Stout (Pig) 1. Peter Bazooka 2. Train I Ride 3. The Girl With The Strong Arm 4. I'm Flying Away 5. Helicopter Interiors 6. The Blues Song 7. The Man Who Rides The Bus 8. Don't Deny Your Inner Child 9. When I Get To Heaven 10. I Can't Stay Awake 11. Crystalline 12. Chaos Theory 13. Khrissy 14. Like To Be Alone 15. Big Deal ------------------------------------------------------------------------ 1 - Peter Bazooka Tuesday - yes, it was Tuesday When I saw my congressman coming out of the titty bar He didn't look like my congressman, but that's okay Nobody really looks like themselves anymore I think its got something to do with that crap They've been pouring into the water I decided it might be wise to follow the congressman Just to see what he was up to. After all, my tax dollars do pay his salary. The congressman got into a taxi, so I hailed a taxi Despite the obvious dangers involved And the coloured voices in my head began to sing: All I gotta do is put my ear to the wall And I can hear it all, yes I can hear it all All I gotta do is put my ear to the wall And I can even hear the little insects crawl The congressman was in taxi number 23 And I was in cab 17 But numbers are meaningless in this kind of cat and squid game My driver was an Aries And he laughed when I said "Follow that cab!" And he kept laughing until he saw the cold blue steel of Little Elvis "Keep your god-damn hands off that radio!" I warned him "I work for the government!" This is actually a half truth I'm really a bike courier But I make a lot of deliveries to government offices. That's where I heard about the cheese. And the coloured voices in my head kept singing: All I gotta do is put my ear to the wall And I can hear it all, yes I can hear it all All I gotta do is put my ear to the wall And I can even hear the little insects crawl There's this super secret government program called "Operation the cheese stands alone" It's the congressmen's pet project They claim that they're giving surplus cheese to the needy I, of course, have my suspicions After 15 very quiet minutes The congressman's cab pulled up outside a warehouse I had the Aries circle around the building and drop me off. He seemed to be grasping the importance of my mission Since he said I didn't have to pay him. As long as I promised to stay very far away from him and his taxi. I swear, some people just don't want to get involved. All I gotta do is put my ear to the wall And I can hear it all, yes I can hear it all All I gotta do is put my ear to the wall And I can even hear the little insects crawl So I walked into that cold dark place Little Elvis drawn and ready for action I too was ready - Ready for the moment when I would be a real American All I gotta do is bang my head on the wall And I can have it all, yes I can have it all All I gotta do is bang my head on the wall And I can even make the little insects crawl (x3) 2 - Train I Ride I work on a train That's eleven and a half cars long I can only work at night Cause the things I do are wrong We carry some nasty substances On this little night train The first car's full of dioxin Enough to wipe out the state of Maine Oh, the evil, terrible things That I sent down those tracks I snuck them through your town at night Right behind your back On our little train (x2) The second car's just painted black What's in it nobody knows Though sometimes it makes a buzzing noise And once I saw it glow The third car carries poison gas And the fourth car it does, too The fifth car's filled to the breaking point With ortho orange forty-two Oh, the evil, terrible things That I sent down those tracks I snuck them through your town at night Right behind your back On our little train (x2) The sixth car leaks a strange brown ooze On to the hoboes who ride below It caused their hair to fall out And their fingers turned bright blue I swear to god it's true The seventh car carries raw sewage You can tell just by the scent We used to have a warning sign But something ate right through the print Some sort a' illegal baby food Is what we got in car number eight And although I've never tried it myself The conductor says it's great We load the bodies of dead lab animals On to car number nine And I swear that sometimes late at night I can hear those critters whine Oh, the evil, terrible things That I sent down those tracks I snuck them through your town at night Right behind your back On our little train Both cars number ten and eleven Carry tainted juice And I can hear it sloshing around From my chair in the caboose 3 - The Girl With The Strong Arm The girl with the strong arm has saved world cinema Saved it from itself I like to think The girl with the strong arm restores old paintings Including one she found under the sink The girl with the strong arm killed an innocent bystander That leaves you with a mental picture The girl with the strong arm drank straight whiskey But I understand she still quotes scriptures All the poor gardeners pooled their resources During the week long festival Kneeling down to think about the future Racing you would be quite dull After many years of exodus The hatchery fish run in rich rivers I'm afraid the memories regarding Nixon Are a little scary The girl with the strong arm threatens the Quakers They all say she's mad y'know The girl with the strong arm has an abrasive accent She uses words like eskimo The girl with the strong arm stands beside a woman Whose many parts add up to one The girl with the strong arm makes political commentary Yet I feel that it's all in fun In your nightmares rub around Those gay white males line up at church Drink their coffee pretend to be a cowboy Set aside an hour to search Pulling up leaves like little Russian problems Is now the tasty thing to do The unattractive ? cloying sweetness is you The most popular sidearm with Canadian woodsmen Is the blue steel woodchuck gun Manufactured in Atlanta, Georgia By the firm of Youse & Son I find no fault with the two young lovers Who dine all night on candied eels Then dance till dawn to big band music And the sound of baboon squeals All last night I stared at jelly Till I knew love was all around Travelling through O'Hare airport Dressed like a circus clown The girl with the strong arm has started licking batteries And that's kinda strange, even for her The girl with the strong arm would like to be a banker But I don't think she's really sure Using strings just to pull things over Really keeps the party going I'm not sure but the history of Denmark Maybe the only thing worth knowing Has it ever dawned on you That car accidents just might be art And all those kids in foster care Just don't think you're very smart Down by the ? on mother's day In a state of perpetual bliss Stan's the man with the lisp 4 - I'm Flying Away I'm getting on a plane Early in the morning I'm getting on a plane Let this be a warning Meet me at the airport Flight 11-41 'cause I'm flying away To the one I love I'll be at your place Just in time for dinner I can't wait to see your face It's been a lonely winter Absence makes the heart grow fond But I can't take it any longer 'cause I'm flying away To the one I love My alarm is set for 5 o'clock I can't wait to hear it ring My bags are packed, completely full I have lots of stuff to bring Arms to hold you Lips to kiss you A heart to love you Oh I miss you I'm flying away To the one I love (x4) To the one I love 5 - Helicopter Interiors Stan's been seeing phantoms and we're not sure what to do His screaming keeps the whole house up all night Though we've never touched his closet and his problems are few Something 'bout his disposition just isn't right The tender young boy with the life affirming needs Waits in the garden And everybody knows that he's praying for Stan All the total strangers on the mountain tops Quarrel, babble, sometimes they dance Clouds on the horizon tell of impending doom You know they seem to be saying that we don't stand a chance Large chunks of evidence were tucked into my shirt As the navy doctor fell asleep a tense fog surrounded us Brilliant lights ignite in the sky Everyone is beautiful if not somewhat unrecognisable Sometimes it's as simple as the stakes on a wall Sometimes it's as hard as a renaissance lute Stuffed animals into baby ? You know they'll even laugh at the people we shoot The tender young boy with the life affirming needs Still waits in the garden And everybody's sure that he's praying for Stan Even long lost poets like to regenerate With new arms and legs they sort the mail Cast iron officers wander around The president hopes that he'll grow a tail Manifestations of corporate corpses assemble and Float into the sky at night AIIIEEEE! Oh damn it configurations play against the gawky savage People starting mayhem ? into the streets of Nowheresville! 6 - The Blues Song We can stand naked on the corner of Main Street, baby, and Let everybody slow down and take a look You can drive your Cadillac to the library, baby, and maybe read the Last ten pages of an Agatha Christie book You can feed my cat to my dog And turn around and feed my dog to my horse You can screw the whole damn royal family, baby, until they All get a divorce Baby, baby, baby Baby, you can do anything you wanna do, baby I swear it will not bother me Cause, baby, you know Baby, you know you've got to You've got to You've got to be what you're going to be You can burn down the orphanage, baby, over there on the Poor side of town You can go to the circus, baby, frighten the elephants See if you can get them to maybe, Trample a clown You can steal the prize out of my box of cereal, baby, and Replace it with a rat You can walk up to someone who might be a little overweight And be kinda sensitive about it and say "Oh my god, you're really fat!" Live and let live, baby That's the cornerstone The very essence of my philosophy And baby Baby, you know You know you've got to You've got to You've got to be what you're going to be I'm gonna play my harmonica Since i charge $35 a note I'm not gonna play much of my harmonica You see the blues The blues isn't an art form It's not a type of music The blues is a product Not unlike computer chips or tampons The blues is a way for white kids to feel That they understand the feelings of black people Without ever having to meet any of them The blues is all these things and more Available for $19.95 Oh, baby Baby, you can do whatever you wanna do, baby Baby, you know it's not going to bother me Cause baby you know You know you've got to You've got to be what you're going to be Here comes the solo! Ooh, and what a solo it is You know That might not be the blues but it sure makes me sad Listen, in the distance The sound of Leadbelly rolling in his grave I've said it before, baby I'll say it again Live and let live The very essence, the cornerstone The summit of my philosophy Baby, baby, you know Baby, you know you've got to You've got to be what you're going to be A blues man needs a nickname And everybody calls me Two Shoes Cause i always wear two shoes I know it's not much of a nickname But by the time i got around to getting my nickname All the good ones were taken Take for example Blind Lemon Lipschitz Blind Lemon Lipschitz gouged out his own eyes with his thumbnails So he could be called blind lemon It's true, don't laugh He felt the very essence of the blues, calling him from within And he felt that contract too Oh, baby Baby, you know Baby, you know you can do whatever you do I don't care I don't give a damn, baby It's not gonna bother me Cause baby, baby, b-b-b-b-b-b-b You gotta You gotta You gotta You gotta You gotta be You gotta be what you're going to be 7 - The Man Who Rides The Bus His stop is always after yours He never seems to leave I heard him speak only once You're standing on my foot (x2) He never reads the paper And state's lottery number is 5-8-3 I hope he doesn't look at you Cause you'll have to pay the fare If he looks at you The man who rules the world Rides the bus all day long Staring out the window Making things happen All the lights turn green at once And it begins to rain Somewhere a TV changes channel And angry words are spoken The milk's gone bad And the phone rings once and stops A sign on the door says open 3000 miles Time to change the oil (x2) The man who rules the world Rides the bus all day long Staring out the window Making things happen The wind in the trees Is the hardest part And he loses sleep at night He closes his eyes And counts to ten And hopes it turns out alright Alright... (x7) The man who rules the world Rides the bus all day long Staring out the window Making things happen Bullets hit their mark And the screaming never stops All systems go Lights out Everyone goes to sleep The man who rules the world Rides the bus all day long Staring out the window Making things happen (x5) 8 - Don't Deny Your Inner Child There are others, and then there is myself I must learn to distinguish the others from myself They are separate people, with different personalities They might not like the things I like They might not eat the same food Or they might not want to go to the places where I want to go There are others, and then there is myself There are men, and there are women Often they don't get along I must try to get along with everyone No matter how stupid they might be Or how asinine their opinions are I must learn to love everybody Even people who are so obviously inferior to me That they make my flesh crawl I will get to know these people And I will cook them a ravioli dinner From a can I found, in Mexico City There are others, and then there is myself I believe in the power of the human soul I believe that the government is in control I believe there's a Heaven up in the sky I believe that my neighbours are human spies Tomorrow I will begin bathing This is the start of a 6 part plan Which will take me into the next century In the coming years, I will stop eating with my hands I will let the dog out of the closet for some fresh air I will put away the rubber mask The cub-scout uniform And yes, finally, even the cauliflower There are others, and then there is myself I believe in the goodness of all mankind I believe that the government is reading my mind I believe there's a god who loves us all I believe in the Beatles, except for Paul! I must no longer neglect my inner child For he is very close Right there, under the floorboards I will learn to get in touch with my feelings Even the ones that will probably get me arrested 9 - When I Get To Heaven If I go to Heaven it'll probably be a slum And all the pretty angels just might be packing guns And if I see St. Peter will he hit me up for cash Will I find the road to Jesus or just lose him in the trash The Shaggs were right You're never going to please anybody Not in this world If I go to Hell I might find it very dull Like an Amway convention or an endless shopping mall When all the innocent demons want to poke me with a fork Or just put me in a taxi and send me to New York Scientists proved it years ago The Shaggs were much better than the Beatles Maybe I'll return as an iguana And lie upon a beach down in the Bahamas Although ignored in their day The Shaggs are now recognised as the geniuses they were I just wanna know what happens when you die Do you walk down in a hole or float up to the sky Is it just a waste of water, when your widow cries? Oh don't tell me you've never heard of the Shaggs? If the atheists are right then I have no need to worry For there is no great being whose favour I must curry And I'll be going nowhere once they lay me in the earth So why waste a Sunday by going to church? If you really wanted to You could run out right now and buy a Shaggs record If the atheists are wrong then I've got a bill that's due So should I be a Christian or a Moslem or a Jew Should I spend all day just praying on my knees And searching through the world for a deity to please A Shaggs record would be a sound investment If the atheists are right then I have no need to worry For there is no great being whose favour I must curry The fat peoples want what the skinny peoples got The skinny peoples want what the fat peoples got But all I've ever wanted is what the Shaggs got Dat Ding(?) and my pal, Foot Foot 10 - I Can't Stay Awake I can't stay awake Somebody help me, please I have too many fingers Some of them need to leave Help me out of my body Help me not to sleep I can't stay awake Somebody help me, please I have too many pills Some of them need to leave Get them out of my body Get them out, please There's no good way to say good-bye I'm only good at saying, "Hi." So I guess I'll go away Touch the sun and forget about today I can't stay awake Somebody, please, help me I have too many fingers Some of them need to leave Help me out of my body Help me not to sleep There's no good way to say good-bye I'm only good at saying, "Hi." So I guess I'll go away Touch the sun and forget about today I can't stay awake Somebody help me, please I can't stay awake Somebody, please, help me 11 - Crystalline With the perfect smile for your sugar high I'd walk a dirty mile Crystalline Are you sure we can't be seen when we're here together Put me in a dream Crystalline See what you've done to me See what you want me to see I'll be the life of you You'll be the death of me You never tell me lies I can see my future In your glassy eyes Crystalline The credit she deserves Never any doubts She has all the answers Crystalline See what you've done to me See what you want me to see I'll be the life of you You'll be the death of me I can see right through you Right through the very end We'll always be together Right there next to me Right there in the end See what you've done to me See what you want me to see I'll be the life of you You'll be the death of me The one I always I dug You're my one and only You're my favorite drug Crystalline See what you've done to me See what you want me to see I'll be the life of you You'll be the death of me See what you've done to me See what you want me to see I'll be the life of you You'll be the death of me 12 - Chaos Theory I am the king of the new white underclass I am the prince of the lazy and poor I am the one who sleeps the latest I am the one who won't do my chores I am the god of unemployment The Antichrist of the American dream I used to fight for church and country But now I don't fit into the corporate scheme I used to get up and go to work But I don't play that game no more I won't work for no corporation I won't owe my soul to no company store Study hard and you'll have a future Oh yeah, when the hell was that ever true? Study hard and you'll still go nowhere Study hard and you'll still get screwed I used to get up and go to work But now I just wanna stay in bed Maybe I'll join the Communist Party Yeah maybe I'll become a goddamn red Workers of the world, unite and do nothing Workers of the world, unite and relax Don't get your boss that cup of coffee Don't write that memo don't send that fax You shouldn't even pay your income tax Workers of the world, unite and be lazy Workers of the world, listen to me Another 8 hours at the factory Another 8 hours and what have you learned Be obedient and do what they tell you Be obedient and still get burned Another 8 hours at the factory Work all day for a tiny little check Work all day for no respect I used to get up and do my job But now I enjoy doin' nothin' better I think I'll go bum around I think I'll enjoy this lovely weather Maybe someday there'll be a revolution Maybe someday we'll have meaningful jobs But until that day I'm gonna be lazy I'm not gonna be no workin' slob I used to get up and go to work But I don't play that game no more I'm not gonna work for no corporation I'm not gonna owe my soul to no company store I used to get up and go to work But now I just wanna stay in bed Maybe I'll join the Communist Party Yeah maybe I'll become a goddamn red 13 - Khrissy I tried to get to sleep but I had to throw up I drank a cup of coffee decided to stay up I watched the television took a sleeping pill I had some awful dreams that seemed way too real Khrissy, always on my mind Forever all the time You lift me up Yeah you trip me up Yeah you mix me up You fix me up Now I've learned to punch the clock I'm keeping track of time When I need to pay the bills I get to work on time No time for sleepless nights and drinking until dawn No time for restless flights I must get moving on Khrissy, always on my mind Forever's a long time You lift me up Yeah you trip me up Yeah you mix me up You fix me up You're in the shadows You're lurking in the corners I feel you following me Silently, invisibly (Your name is... ???) You wake me up in the middle of the night and I can't remember what was dream and what was for real You screw me up Yeah you shoot me up Yeah you suck me up Yeah you chew me up Took seven hits of acid couldn't play the show What was goin' through my mind I guess you'll never know It was the coolest thing I'll never do again Now there's no backing out, this really is the end Khrissy, you played it very fine For the final time You hit me up Yeah you trip me up Yeah you pick me up Yeah you fix me up Khrissy Oh Khrissy Khrissy (x2) 14 - Like To Be Alone Sometimes I like to be alone (x2) But when I hear your voice I don't have any choice I want to crawl right through the phone And I don't want to be alone Sometimes I need to get away (x2) But when I read your card I found it very hard Not to be with you today Sometimes I need to get away God is gravity God is the law God is love so Love is the law And love is gravity I feel you (x2) Pulling me Sometimes I'm happy feeling sad (x2) But when I think of you I'm through with feeling blue I think of good times we could have Sometimes I'm happy feeling sad 15 - Big Deal Life sucks, then you die And your soul gets sucked into the sky Birds sing, I wonder why You eat a bowl of cereal and sigh You're late for your class You're walkin' the halls without a pass Big deal (x2) Time flies, time crawls You're a prisoner trapped between its claws Life sucks, sometimes You gotta learn to live between the lines Your feet are on the ground But the world keeps spinning you around Big deal (x3) Don't be worried, don't be down I'll be your stupid happy clown Keep your chin up in the air Shake your body like you just don't care Birds sing, babies cry Life sucks and then you die Big deal (x3)